tattoo yourself
I was afraid to tattoo myself for a long time. Every time I talked about my tattooing with somebody I hadn’t met before, they would always seem to ask me if I had tattooed myself. Sometimes the universe keeps giving you hints.
I was worried the pain would make it hard to focus, but I felt in charge of the session when I got started. As I’ve gotten more tattoos over the years, the pain feels more like a sensation that you can make friends with than something you need to run away from. There is something meditative about controlling your breathing and settling into a long session.
You’re more likely to trust someone to do a tattoo if they have tattoos. And you’re more likely to believe in an artist’s style of work if they’ve committed to it themselves. I got tattooed from an artist who didn’t have any tattoos, and over our multiple sessions together I kept wondering why they didn’t have any tattoos. Experiencing the pain of being tattooed and knowing how pain feels on different parts of the body helps you empathize with the person you’re tattooing.
If I could go back, I would have started tattooing myself sooner because you can take your time and settle into your process. There are so many steps to building your technique, like getting familiar with machine stroke, voltage, needle depth, ointment, stretching the skin, wiping excess ink, and dealing with adrenaline rush and hand shake. All of those details become second nature with time, but it feels overwhelming at first.
Throughout time, artists have been curious about the body and healing.
Self Portrait with Bandaged Ear, Vincent van Gogh
Bite, Vito Acconci
The Incredulity of Saint Thomas, by Caravaggio
The Broken Column, Frida Kahlo
As I was tattooing myself, I thought about Carl Jung’s idea of the wounded healer. Jung would say that a physician can only heal others to the extent that they have healed themselves. In shamanistic traditions around the world, a healer will participate in a rite of passage that is a threat to their life or health. When they’ve overcome it, they’re ready to help others.
